Friday, May 27, 2011
Development of Quesitons and Project Design
I have listed at the bottom of my development notes page my newly found direction and purpose for my project. I have also listed some questions I might ask key informants. I would love some outside feedback. Happy Memorial Day!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Fix, Help, Serve
I loved the article we read for class "Fix, Help or Serving?" I especially loved the statement, "Serving requires us to know that our humanity is more powerful than our expertise." I believe this reflects a humility and trust that is required for true service. If we rely on our own expertise and skill set then we may enter a situation believing we will singularly help or fix the situation or person rather than serve an individual. But if we acknowledge that we are not going to just apply our skill set to the benefit of an individual but apply our whole self (our heart, our spirit, our body, our time, etc.) and treat them with the respect every human being (including yourself) deserves, then we are able to see ourselves as equal to the other person and deliver true service that benefits both the individual and yourself.
I thought that was beautiful and that it tied in beautifully with our discussion of poverty. Encountering poverty was rare and awkward for me as I grew up. I mostly encountered it when I saw homeless people on the street with cardboard signs on my trips to downtown Salt Lake City. I would avoid eye contact and try not to even look at these people because it made me feel so uncomfortable. That was until I attended a regional conference at the Conference Center in Salt Lake last spring and Elder Eyring and Elder Bednar (I believe) spoke on building a "zion-like" community. As my siblings and I walked out of the meeting to our car we passed a homeless man on the corner outside the center. Sister Barlow in our ward had stopped to give the man some change while the packed mob of members passed her and the homeless man by. I caught up to her right as she finished giving the man spare change. We exchanged greetings and then she said something to the effect of, "Did we not just get a talk on being charitable and building a zion-like community?"
This small moment was an experience that showed me how counsel from church leaders could be immediately implemented. It also taught me something about charity and giving unto the poor. I was ashamed of myself for never helping and vowed I would keep a dollar and some coins loose in my wallet at all times in case I had the chance to help. Previously I had refused to give because I assumed the homeless used the money for drugs and alcohol whereas I could easily give to a man at the gas station a little short on change to fill up because I knew where the money was going. But Sister Barlow's Christ-like example showed me that every person is human. And that may sound silly and obvious but that isn't how I acted previously. My actions or lack thereof displayed a separation or inequality in the status of certain individuals the homeless man being inferior to the man with a car. I knew I was human, and they were different, so what exactly where they? In my young mind, not human. O how false that is though!
Now, after some more experience and practice, it is easy to look at homeless people with a smile. I am always prepared with some change to spare. It is easy to give as well because I have pre-decided that I will always share when I can. And I've tried to do it because I'm sharing this community with them, not because they are broken or weaker but because I have something to share and they are asking. But I am not sure this is the best philosophy when I travel to Ghana. I suspect I will see a lot more want and begging in Ghana then I do on the clean swept streets of Salt Lake City. I probably cannot attend to all the requests or needs I perceive. How can I show true service and not feel like I'm fixing or helping while I am in Ghana. Can I maintain my same holistic view towards the homeless or impoverished in Ghana as I have developed for those here in Salt Lake? How might my views be challenged and what things will I need to consider in Ghana? Do I need to put conditions on the situations in which I share? Will I experience those emotions such as annoyance, fear, anger or depression Dave mentioned in class that can sometimes come from beggars in poverty? How can I deal with these situations? I think I need to give it some more thinking time, but I welcome any ideas.
I thought that was beautiful and that it tied in beautifully with our discussion of poverty. Encountering poverty was rare and awkward for me as I grew up. I mostly encountered it when I saw homeless people on the street with cardboard signs on my trips to downtown Salt Lake City. I would avoid eye contact and try not to even look at these people because it made me feel so uncomfortable. That was until I attended a regional conference at the Conference Center in Salt Lake last spring and Elder Eyring and Elder Bednar (I believe) spoke on building a "zion-like" community. As my siblings and I walked out of the meeting to our car we passed a homeless man on the corner outside the center. Sister Barlow in our ward had stopped to give the man some change while the packed mob of members passed her and the homeless man by. I caught up to her right as she finished giving the man spare change. We exchanged greetings and then she said something to the effect of, "Did we not just get a talk on being charitable and building a zion-like community?"
This small moment was an experience that showed me how counsel from church leaders could be immediately implemented. It also taught me something about charity and giving unto the poor. I was ashamed of myself for never helping and vowed I would keep a dollar and some coins loose in my wallet at all times in case I had the chance to help. Previously I had refused to give because I assumed the homeless used the money for drugs and alcohol whereas I could easily give to a man at the gas station a little short on change to fill up because I knew where the money was going. But Sister Barlow's Christ-like example showed me that every person is human. And that may sound silly and obvious but that isn't how I acted previously. My actions or lack thereof displayed a separation or inequality in the status of certain individuals the homeless man being inferior to the man with a car. I knew I was human, and they were different, so what exactly where they? In my young mind, not human. O how false that is though!
Now, after some more experience and practice, it is easy to look at homeless people with a smile. I am always prepared with some change to spare. It is easy to give as well because I have pre-decided that I will always share when I can. And I've tried to do it because I'm sharing this community with them, not because they are broken or weaker but because I have something to share and they are asking. But I am not sure this is the best philosophy when I travel to Ghana. I suspect I will see a lot more want and begging in Ghana then I do on the clean swept streets of Salt Lake City. I probably cannot attend to all the requests or needs I perceive. How can I show true service and not feel like I'm fixing or helping while I am in Ghana. Can I maintain my same holistic view towards the homeless or impoverished in Ghana as I have developed for those here in Salt Lake? How might my views be challenged and what things will I need to consider in Ghana? Do I need to put conditions on the situations in which I share? Will I experience those emotions such as annoyance, fear, anger or depression Dave mentioned in class that can sometimes come from beggars in poverty? How can I deal with these situations? I think I need to give it some more thinking time, but I welcome any ideas.
Overwhelmed
I just had to document that I'm feeling overwhelmed right now. That way in a few weeks when I've sorted things out I can remember that writing a research proposal is hard and that I can do hard things. The end.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
1st Participant Observation Experience
I used my first preconstruction meeting with UDOT as a public involvement manager for my participant observation experience. (You can check out my expanded notes under the Developmental Notes tab) I wrote up a lot of notes about the experience while I was there, they were more of jottings. It was rather difficult because there was so much to jot down I really struggled knowing what was pertinent information and what was not. As I tried to use a wide angle lens and explicit awareness I noticed a lot more things than I have in construction meetings in the past. But with that broader vision of the experience came more organization and decision about what information to attend to and what not to attend to. I couldn't take notes on every aspect of the experience! The attire of the attendees, the language, who everyone was! There were 34 people, mostly men in the room. The meeting followed an agenda so it was nice to have the structure of the experience laid out for me but because they had it laid out for them too it was read word for word and went really fast so I could take note of all the nuances under every agenda item.
So jottings were a bit difficult. But then there was the expanded notes and interviewing I wanted to do afterward that was just overwhelming. My boss attended the meeting with me and I had kept track of so many vocabulary and jargon I didn't understand that I wanted to ask her but there was so much I lost my drive about 5 minutes down the road and settled to understand these terms at a different time, also we had other things to discuss. But of the little interviewing I did do with her I found out that a lot of the descriptive notes I had written in my notebook while jotting things down had deeper implications into the structure and environment of this specific project. For example: I wrote down that Todd from UDOT conducted the meeting but his name wasn't on the UDOT Representatives list and that Jace (listed as the project manager) did most of the questions. Then another man I recognized named walked in, my boss informed me that he was their boss, but he said very little. I was confused as to how those relationships were supposed to be defined and how one should act as a Project Manager or field engineer. My boss said she'd noticed this too and realized that the UDOT team probably doesn't have their issue resolution chart solid and that we can help them define more clearly their roles on the project at the partnering session.
As I typed up my expanded notes I was overwhelmed again because I had written so many descriptive notes and I really couldn't tell what was supposed to be methodological notes. Did I just not have a good enough grasp on that concept yet? Methodological notes have to do with the collecting of data correct? I'm not sure I can think of any note for that in this experience other than, I listened to the meeting, I introduced myself, I asked my neighbors questions through a whisper, and I jotted notes down on my agenda. What else am I looking for with methodological notes? I re read what we read by Bernard on taking methodological notes but anyone else have other example or ideas about what methodological notes look like as opposed to descriptive or analytical notes?
So jottings were a bit difficult. But then there was the expanded notes and interviewing I wanted to do afterward that was just overwhelming. My boss attended the meeting with me and I had kept track of so many vocabulary and jargon I didn't understand that I wanted to ask her but there was so much I lost my drive about 5 minutes down the road and settled to understand these terms at a different time, also we had other things to discuss. But of the little interviewing I did do with her I found out that a lot of the descriptive notes I had written in my notebook while jotting things down had deeper implications into the structure and environment of this specific project. For example: I wrote down that Todd from UDOT conducted the meeting but his name wasn't on the UDOT Representatives list and that Jace (listed as the project manager) did most of the questions. Then another man I recognized named walked in, my boss informed me that he was their boss, but he said very little. I was confused as to how those relationships were supposed to be defined and how one should act as a Project Manager or field engineer. My boss said she'd noticed this too and realized that the UDOT team probably doesn't have their issue resolution chart solid and that we can help them define more clearly their roles on the project at the partnering session.
As I typed up my expanded notes I was overwhelmed again because I had written so many descriptive notes and I really couldn't tell what was supposed to be methodological notes. Did I just not have a good enough grasp on that concept yet? Methodological notes have to do with the collecting of data correct? I'm not sure I can think of any note for that in this experience other than, I listened to the meeting, I introduced myself, I asked my neighbors questions through a whisper, and I jotted notes down on my agenda. What else am I looking for with methodological notes? I re read what we read by Bernard on taking methodological notes but anyone else have other example or ideas about what methodological notes look like as opposed to descriptive or analytical notes?
Saturday, May 21, 2011
The perception of American women outside of America
We had an interesting conversation in class about the topic of how women are perceived outside of America. I had thought of this before when I watched a Bollywood film called, "Marigold" about a high maintenance movie star who travels to India to be in a movie and finds that her every need is not catered to. This was a highly hyperbolic situation and her character was over the top but it did make me think about the way I could perceived when I travel to Ghana. Some of the stereotypes we identified in class were needy, high maintenance, sexually forward, aggressive, haughty etc. As I thought about some of these things I thought about how I value some of these perceived attributes only maybe in a different form. Aggressiveness could be determination and work ethic that I value, perceived haughtiness could be my attempt to try to do things myself and be independent and not needy.
I have often picture myself in the field strong and successful, not needy or unfriendly in anyway. I have believed I am capable of forming relationships and being respectful. But my idea of respectful would be looking someone in the eyes and my idea of success would be meeting a lot of Ghanaians whom I could interview by being outgoing. But the other night the Ghanaian I interviewed taught me that PDA was looked down upon and children don't look adults in the eye. These facts make me feel that maybe being aggressively outgoing or trying to do everything myself is not the way to build rapport with the Ghanaians around me. Maybe they are, but I think I need to be a little bit more open to different ways of defining respect and independence within the Ghanaian culture.
I have often picture myself in the field strong and successful, not needy or unfriendly in anyway. I have believed I am capable of forming relationships and being respectful. But my idea of respectful would be looking someone in the eyes and my idea of success would be meeting a lot of Ghanaians whom I could interview by being outgoing. But the other night the Ghanaian I interviewed taught me that PDA was looked down upon and children don't look adults in the eye. These facts make me feel that maybe being aggressively outgoing or trying to do everything myself is not the way to build rapport with the Ghanaians around me. Maybe they are, but I think I need to be a little bit more open to different ways of defining respect and independence within the Ghanaian culture.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
1st Interview
Our greetings worksheet was intimidating at first but once I found a Ghanaian to talk to and got to interview him I thought it was so awesome! I met up with a Ghanaian that was friends with my friends old roommate, cool huh? We met at my apartment and had a great conversations about nonverbal greetings, dance, his family and just got to know each other.
It was my first interview experience and it was fun and interesting! I had a structure planned for the interview. 1st get to know a bit about him, 2nd ask him the questions listed on the worksheet, finally follow up with any other questions I felt were pertinent or interesting. But that wasn't really how it went down. Step one occurred as planned but then the 2nd and 3rd combined and took their own natural course. It was so cool the way one answer prompted so many other questions I wanted to ask. He was so obliging and a great talker, that made things comfortable and enjoyable for me. Here are a few insights he helped me gain:
It was my first interview experience and it was fun and interesting! I had a structure planned for the interview. 1st get to know a bit about him, 2nd ask him the questions listed on the worksheet, finally follow up with any other questions I felt were pertinent or interesting. But that wasn't really how it went down. Step one occurred as planned but then the 2nd and 3rd combined and took their own natural course. It was so cool the way one answer prompted so many other questions I wanted to ask. He was so obliging and a great talker, that made things comfortable and enjoyable for me. Here are a few insights he helped me gain:
- Ghanaian males greet each other with a handshake that is more like a skin slide that ends in snapping on the other person's middle finger before releasing from the touch. (We practiced that a few times.)
- It is disrespectful for youth to look their elders, parents, or other adults in the eye.
- Ete sen = How are you doing. Akwaaba = Welcome. Meda Wase= Thank you. Mepa Wokycw = Please. "ky" is pronounced like "ch"
- Asante people have a lot of pride. They feel they are the chief tribe. His parents are Asante but live outside Accra. He said we could visit them if we like. They work at the MTC and are close to the beach.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Organization and Chaos
Can I just start by saying how much I am enjoying this field study experience! The preparation class has been so enjoyable thus far and I am so grateful to be involved in field study work, and I haven't even left the country yet! I think one of the reasons I enjoy this class so much is because I can enjoy uncertainty and the unknown as well as practical, tangible, effective organization strategies.
Uncertainties
I certainly have no idea what it really will look or feel like to be in Ghana. I don't know if I will find answers for the questions I have. I don't know how I'll respond of if I'll respond appropriately in social situations. I don't know if I'll like the food. I don't know who I'll meet. I don't know how I'll feel or what exactly is going to happen! But isn't that exciting to have so many unknowns! Once I know the answer to some of these questions the excitement and adrenaline will begin to fall, so I better enjoy being excited about some of these unknowns because they will soon be answered. But that's what is so great about inquiry based learning is that there is always excitement because one answer or one question is the springboard or gate for more questions to follow.
Organizational Strategies
The field study experience when I first learned of it seemed to be ineffable for many people who've been through the program. What was described to me was hard to imagine and I still often see a wall of darkness in my mind when I try to imagine my future in Ghana, but it's getting greener...and warmer. When I think of the uncertainties without faith I can begin to feel the fear and anxiety, but this rarely happens because I trust in the program so much. Everyday I am learning of new tools I will be using in my research, getting better at research, and learning more about daily Ghanaian life. I am feeling more organized and prepared each day and clearer vision of what is going to occur is finally forming in my mind.
Reading about the different types of field notes (jotting, diary, field notes, and analysis) really helped me see what actual research work will look like. Knowing that I will need a jotting journal, a diary, and a strategy for documenting field notes either in another booklet or computer are tangible items for my to do list and I am excited to use these methods. Dave also mentioned in class that we should take family photos. Knowing one item on my packing list relieved some of my anxiety that accompanies uncertainty.
Now, don't think I don't love thinking over, planning for, and discussing the more intangible ideas of preparation such as recognizing eccentricities or discussing proxemics and kinesics. I love preparing myself by considering these ideas as well. But I love the field study experience so much because slowly I am seeing these ineffable ideas become tangible, pragmatic ideas I can implement in my daily living; ideas such as sharing and reciprocity. When Katie made gluten free cookies for class I saw a very real way that we can build relationships. Katie taking notice of my situation and then serving me in that way made me feel really good. She is going to be a great person to be with in Ghana. I can't wait to understand and see more tangibly throughout the rest of the class.
Uncertainties
I certainly have no idea what it really will look or feel like to be in Ghana. I don't know if I will find answers for the questions I have. I don't know how I'll respond of if I'll respond appropriately in social situations. I don't know if I'll like the food. I don't know who I'll meet. I don't know how I'll feel or what exactly is going to happen! But isn't that exciting to have so many unknowns! Once I know the answer to some of these questions the excitement and adrenaline will begin to fall, so I better enjoy being excited about some of these unknowns because they will soon be answered. But that's what is so great about inquiry based learning is that there is always excitement because one answer or one question is the springboard or gate for more questions to follow.
Organizational Strategies
The field study experience when I first learned of it seemed to be ineffable for many people who've been through the program. What was described to me was hard to imagine and I still often see a wall of darkness in my mind when I try to imagine my future in Ghana, but it's getting greener...and warmer. When I think of the uncertainties without faith I can begin to feel the fear and anxiety, but this rarely happens because I trust in the program so much. Everyday I am learning of new tools I will be using in my research, getting better at research, and learning more about daily Ghanaian life. I am feeling more organized and prepared each day and clearer vision of what is going to occur is finally forming in my mind.
Reading about the different types of field notes (jotting, diary, field notes, and analysis) really helped me see what actual research work will look like. Knowing that I will need a jotting journal, a diary, and a strategy for documenting field notes either in another booklet or computer are tangible items for my to do list and I am excited to use these methods. Dave also mentioned in class that we should take family photos. Knowing one item on my packing list relieved some of my anxiety that accompanies uncertainty.
Now, don't think I don't love thinking over, planning for, and discussing the more intangible ideas of preparation such as recognizing eccentricities or discussing proxemics and kinesics. I love preparing myself by considering these ideas as well. But I love the field study experience so much because slowly I am seeing these ineffable ideas become tangible, pragmatic ideas I can implement in my daily living; ideas such as sharing and reciprocity. When Katie made gluten free cookies for class I saw a very real way that we can build relationships. Katie taking notice of my situation and then serving me in that way made me feel really good. She is going to be a great person to be with in Ghana. I can't wait to understand and see more tangibly throughout the rest of the class.
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