Friday, May 27, 2011

Development of Quesitons and Project Design

I have listed at the bottom of my development notes page my newly found direction and purpose for my project. I have also listed some questions I might ask key informants. I would love some outside feedback. Happy Memorial Day!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Fix, Help, Serve

I loved the article we read for class "Fix, Help or Serving?" I especially loved the statement, "Serving requires us to know that our humanity is more powerful than our expertise." I believe this reflects a humility and trust that is required for true service. If we rely on our own expertise and skill set then we may enter a situation believing we will singularly help or fix the situation or person rather than serve an individual. But if we acknowledge that we are not going to just apply our skill set to the benefit of an individual but apply our whole self (our heart, our spirit, our body, our time, etc.) and treat them with the respect every human being (including yourself) deserves, then we are able to see ourselves as equal to the other person and deliver true service that benefits both the individual and yourself.

I thought that was beautiful and that it tied in beautifully with our discussion of poverty. Encountering poverty was rare and awkward for me as I grew up. I mostly encountered it when I saw homeless people on the street with cardboard signs on my trips to downtown Salt Lake City. I would avoid eye contact and try not to even look at these people because it made me feel so uncomfortable. That was until I attended a regional conference at the Conference Center in Salt Lake last spring and Elder Eyring and Elder Bednar (I believe) spoke on building a "zion-like" community. As my siblings and I walked out of the meeting to our car we passed a homeless man on the corner outside the center. Sister Barlow in our ward had stopped to give the man some change while the packed mob of members passed her and the homeless man by. I caught up to her right as she finished giving the man spare change. We exchanged greetings and then she said something to the effect of, "Did we not just get a talk on being charitable and building a zion-like community?"

This small moment was an experience that showed me how counsel from church leaders could be immediately implemented. It also taught me something about charity and giving unto the poor. I was ashamed of myself for never helping and vowed I would keep a dollar and some coins loose in my wallet at all times in case I had the chance to help. Previously I had refused to give because I assumed the homeless used the money for drugs and alcohol whereas I could easily give to a man at the gas station a little short on change to fill up because I knew where the money was going. But Sister Barlow's Christ-like example showed me that every person is human. And that may sound silly and obvious but that isn't how I acted previously. My actions or lack thereof displayed a separation or inequality in the status of certain individuals the homeless man being inferior to the man with a car. I knew I was human, and they were different, so what exactly where they? In my young mind, not human. O how false that is though!

Now, after some more experience and practice, it is easy to look at homeless people with a smile. I am always prepared with some change to spare. It is easy to give as well because I have pre-decided that I will always share when I can. And I've tried to do it because I'm sharing this community with them, not because they are broken or weaker but because I have something to share and they are asking. But I am not sure this is the best philosophy when I travel to Ghana. I suspect I will see a lot more want and begging in Ghana then I do on the clean swept streets of Salt Lake City. I probably cannot attend to all the requests or needs I perceive. How can I show true service and not feel like I'm fixing or helping while I am in Ghana. Can I maintain my same holistic view towards the homeless or impoverished in Ghana as I have developed for those here in Salt Lake? How might my views be challenged and what things will I need to consider in Ghana? Do I need to put conditions on the situations in which I share? Will I experience those emotions such as annoyance, fear, anger or depression Dave mentioned in class that can sometimes come from beggars in poverty? How can I deal with these situations? I think I need to give it some more thinking time, but I welcome any ideas.

Overwhelmed

I just had to document that I'm feeling overwhelmed right now. That way in a few weeks when I've sorted things out I can remember that writing a research proposal is hard and that I can do hard things. The end.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

1st Participant Observation Experience

I used my first preconstruction meeting with UDOT as a public involvement manager for my participant observation experience. (You can check out my expanded notes under the Developmental Notes tab) I wrote up a lot of notes about the experience while I was there, they were more of jottings. It was rather difficult because there was so much to jot down I really struggled knowing what was pertinent information and what was not. As I tried to use a wide angle lens and explicit awareness I noticed a lot more things than I have in construction meetings in the past. But with that broader vision of the experience came more organization and decision about what information to attend to and what not to attend to. I couldn't take notes on every aspect of the experience! The attire of the attendees, the language, who everyone was! There were 34 people, mostly men in the room. The meeting followed an agenda so it was nice to have the structure of the experience laid out for me but because they had it laid out for them too it was read word for word and went really fast so I could take note of all the nuances under every agenda item.

So jottings were a bit difficult. But then there was the expanded notes and interviewing I wanted to do afterward that was just overwhelming. My boss attended the meeting with me and I had kept track of so many vocabulary and jargon I didn't understand that I wanted to ask her but there was so much I lost my drive about 5 minutes down the road and settled to understand these terms at a different time, also we had other things to discuss. But of the little interviewing I did do with her I found out that a lot of the descriptive notes I had written in my notebook while jotting things down had deeper implications into the structure and environment of this specific project. For example: I wrote down that Todd from UDOT conducted the meeting but his name wasn't on the UDOT Representatives list and that Jace (listed as the project manager) did most of the questions. Then another man I recognized named walked in, my boss informed me that he was their boss, but he said very little. I was confused as to how those relationships were supposed to be defined and how one should act as a Project Manager or field engineer. My boss said she'd noticed this too and realized that the UDOT team probably doesn't have their issue resolution chart solid and that we can help them define more clearly their roles on the project at the partnering session.

As I typed up my expanded notes I was overwhelmed again because I had written so many descriptive notes and I really couldn't tell what was supposed to be methodological notes. Did I just not have a good enough grasp on that concept yet? Methodological notes have to do with the collecting of data correct? I'm not sure I can think of any note for that in this experience other than, I listened to the meeting, I introduced myself, I asked my neighbors questions through a whisper, and I jotted notes down on my agenda. What else am I looking for with methodological notes? I re read what we read by Bernard on taking methodological notes but anyone else have other example or ideas about what methodological notes look like as opposed to descriptive or analytical notes?

Saturday, May 21, 2011

The perception of American women outside of America

We had an interesting conversation in class about the topic of how women are perceived outside of America. I had thought of this before when I watched a Bollywood film called, "Marigold" about a high maintenance movie star who travels to India to be in a movie and finds that her every need is not catered to. This was a highly hyperbolic situation and her character was over the top but it did make me think about the way I could perceived when I travel to Ghana. Some of the stereotypes we identified in class were needy, high maintenance, sexually forward, aggressive, haughty etc. As I thought about some of these things I thought about how I value some of these perceived attributes only maybe in a different form. Aggressiveness could be determination and work ethic that I value, perceived haughtiness could be my attempt to try to do things myself and be independent and not needy.

I have often picture myself in the field strong and successful, not needy or unfriendly in anyway. I have believed I am capable of forming relationships and being respectful. But my idea of respectful would be looking someone in the eyes and my idea of success would be meeting a lot of Ghanaians whom I could interview by being outgoing. But the other night the Ghanaian I interviewed taught me that PDA was looked down upon and children don't look adults in the eye. These facts make me feel that maybe being aggressively outgoing or trying to do everything myself is not the way to build rapport with the Ghanaians around me. Maybe they are, but I think I need to be a little bit more open to different ways of defining respect and independence within the Ghanaian culture.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

1st Interview

Our greetings worksheet was intimidating at first but once I found a Ghanaian to talk to and got to interview him I thought it was so awesome! I met up with a Ghanaian that was friends with my friends old roommate, cool huh? We met at my apartment and had a great conversations about nonverbal greetings, dance, his family and just got to know each other.

It was my first interview experience and it was fun and interesting! I had a structure planned for the interview. 1st get to know a bit about him, 2nd ask him the questions listed on the worksheet, finally follow up with any other questions I felt were pertinent or interesting. But that wasn't really how it went down. Step one occurred as planned but then the 2nd and 3rd combined and took their own natural course. It was so cool the way one answer prompted so many other questions I wanted to ask. He was so obliging and a great talker, that made things comfortable and enjoyable for me. Here are a few insights he helped me gain:
  • Ghanaian males greet each other with a handshake that is more like a skin slide that ends in snapping on the other person's middle finger before releasing from the touch. (We practiced that a few times.)
  • It is disrespectful for youth to look their elders, parents, or other adults in the eye.
  • Ete sen = How are you doing. Akwaaba = Welcome. Meda Wase= Thank you. Mepa Wokycw = Please. "ky" is pronounced like "ch"
  • Asante people have a lot of pride. They feel they are the chief tribe. His parents are Asante but live outside Accra. He said we could visit them if we like. They work at the MTC and are close to the beach.
This was great practice and it made me even more excited to perform interviews and get to know more Ghanaians like this out in the field. I will certainly need to work on some things such as: keeping the topics focused, asking the right questions and using graceful probing, asking permission to write notes and assuring the interviewers confidentiality, I also wish I would have written more greeting descriptions or other answers down verbatim. Interviewing is exciting! I can't wait to do more of it.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Organization and Chaos

Can I just start by saying how much I am enjoying this field study experience! The preparation class has been so enjoyable thus far and I am so grateful to be involved in field study work, and I haven't even left the country yet! I think one of the reasons I enjoy this class so much is because I can enjoy uncertainty and the unknown as well as practical, tangible, effective organization strategies.

Uncertainties
I certainly have no idea what it really will look or feel like to be in Ghana. I don't know if I will find answers for the questions I have. I don't know how I'll respond of if I'll respond appropriately in social situations. I don't know if I'll like the food. I don't know who I'll meet. I don't know how I'll feel or what exactly is going to happen! But isn't that exciting to have so many unknowns! Once I know the answer to some of these questions the excitement and adrenaline will begin to fall, so I better enjoy being excited about some of these unknowns because they will soon be answered. But that's what is so great about inquiry based learning is that there is always excitement because one answer or one question is the springboard or gate for more questions to follow.

Organizational Strategies
The field study experience when I first learned of it seemed to be ineffable for many people who've been through the program. What was described to me was hard to imagine and I still often see a wall of darkness in my mind when I try to imagine my future in Ghana, but it's getting greener...and warmer. When I think of the uncertainties without faith I can begin to feel the fear and anxiety, but this rarely happens because I trust in the program so much. Everyday I am learning of new tools I will be using in my research, getting better at research, and learning more about daily Ghanaian life. I am feeling more organized and prepared each day and clearer vision of what is going to occur is finally forming in my mind.

Reading about the different types of field notes (jotting, diary, field notes, and analysis) really helped me see what actual research work will look like. Knowing that I will need a jotting journal, a diary, and a strategy for documenting field notes either in another booklet or computer are tangible items for my to do list and I am excited to use these methods. Dave also mentioned in class that we should take family photos. Knowing one item on my packing list relieved some of my anxiety that accompanies uncertainty.

Now, don't think I don't love thinking over, planning for, and discussing the more intangible ideas of preparation such as recognizing eccentricities or discussing proxemics and kinesics. I love preparing myself by considering these ideas as well. But I love the field study experience so much because slowly I am seeing these ineffable ideas become tangible, pragmatic ideas I can implement in my daily living; ideas such as sharing and reciprocity. When Katie made gluten free cookies for class I saw a very real way that we can build relationships. Katie taking notice of my situation and then serving me in that way made me feel really good. She is going to be a great person to be with in Ghana. I can't wait to understand and see more tangibly throughout the rest of the class.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Building Relationships

Ashley asked the question, "How do you build relationships?" in class and I really started to think about this. This made me wonder why my roommates, family, coworkers were really close to me and why some acquaintances and neighbors or even roommates were not as close. I think those that I have developed good relationships with are those who share and give, as well as accept and receive and I reciprocate those actions as well. In some situations the reciprocity is equal but I have found that if I truly love someone and feel connected to them there is not a issue of equality in the reciprocity of our relationship.

The ways I have developed these type of relationships are by becoming humble enough to ask for help and to accept help from my loved ones. This has been hard for me in the past and a real block to my ability to connect with others. Because I love to serve others but avoided ever being served, even if I needed it. I also believe sacrifice is a major component of my close relationships. My father once cleaned out my car after weeks of me denying him that opportunity and when I was surprised with this service my love grew tremendously for him. When I sacrifice for others I feel I love them more and I feel more loved by someone when they sacrifice for me. My roommate Tabitha told me she wanted to support me in my different eating restrictions and notified me she'd be less of a penny pincher and eat more fresh vegetables with me. That meant a lot to me too!

I mentioned that pride, inability to accept or receive, was a stumbling block for me in building relationships. In class Dave stated another struggle I often have when building relationships. He said that sometimes when we are insecure we feel a need to find a solution or make a decision to define or clarify whatever we are being insecure about and that this can at times distance us from others. It is indeed hard to deal with uncertainty but the reality is things are not always going to be clear upon first introduction. It may take many encounters with a person or situation before we begin to see the most appropriate way to act.

This is especially applicable when traveling to another culture. When put in a new, different situation or environment we will feel uncomfortable or inadequate to respond in a new social context. We will be insecure and feel a need to quickly and keenly observe appropriate behavior so we can implement it to blend and fit in. But as I mentioned previously we may not observe perfectly or understand how to behave even after a dozen encounters with the same situation. To fix our feelings of insecurity it is easy to make a hasty decision about appropriate behavior, even if it isn't appropriate, so we can feel assured of ourselves again. This way of dealing with insecurity can cause problems of distance or disrespect when trying to build relationships. I think a more healthy way to deal with the uncomfortable nature of traveling cross culturally is to recognize we will be insecure at first and that it will take time to find even some of the answers to our questions. If we realize our observing and learning of culturally appropriate behavior will extend across our entire stay we can avoid the pitfall of assuming we know enough and shutting ourselves off from future valuable learning experiences.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Value Orientations

Our discussion on value orientations was enlightening for me. I have struggled recently with realizing at times I have a certain value and in another situation sympathize with the opposite of that value. I have a spiritual example; I know that we are given agency and the ability to act for ourselves but sometimes I am led by the spirit to believe I must relinquish an illusory control I have on my life and must rely on the Lord. This instigates some cognitive dissonance for me that is hard to deal. The best way I've found to deal with paradoxes like this is to make an agreement with myself that I will do my best everyday. Because some days are better than others I will have to evaluate what that means for myself on a day to day basis.

I find a paradox such as this in the creation of my project proposal. I want to plan and prepare as much as I can so that I have the highest quality experience in Ghana. I also want to relax a little and allow myself flexibility to participate in the daily activities I hope to experience while living there. I think this is a value orientation across the spectrum of P-time and M- time discussed in my previous post. I believe I will need to hold the same approach to this matter as I do for the situation discussed in the paragraph above. I need to agree with myself that I will allow the process of redefining and molding to continue throughout my project so that I can have the flexibility to enough what I wish, but that I will also work as hard as I can to prepare as much as possible. I cannot allow myself to be stuck in all-or-none thinking. There are factors unseen and privileges unknown, I cannot stifle myself by believing one will ruin me or the latter surpass me. I have to realize I do not have to value one side of this issue and one alone. I can make decisions dependent on the situation as choices arise to be made. I predict I will have more value orientation issues as I enter the field so I agree with myself now that I will be flexible with my thinking.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

People Time and Me Time

I really enjoyed the article and class discussion on Polychronic and Monochronic time. It is something I’ve thought of in anticipation to traveling to Ghana. When I imagine myself living I envision the rejection of my planner and a set schedule, having multiple assignments going on at once, and being around a lot of people. I’ve consciously imagined my African experience this way and recognized it is completely opposite of the Monochronic time I live in right now. It excites me to think that I may have the opportunity to practice living in P- time more by living in Ghana. I yearn to live in the polychromic time because I know it is very relationship oriented. I am not only going to Ghana to perform my own research and to receive grades but to meet people and build new relationships. I really think the “P” in P-time stands for people. In a Mormon Message titled “What Matters Most” President Monson urges us to never let a problem to be solved be put above people to be loved. This is something I want to work on during my field experience. This may be tough though because I will prepare to return back to a Monochronic society that will expect collected empirical and measurable data regarding my research.

Along with my romantic vision of living in P-time I have a realistically reflected on the chance that I may not be able to relinquish my Monochronic time patterns. I only have 3 months to complete my research and I could easily try to control my experience by creating a strict schedule for myself to assure I will get everything done that I hope to. I could easily fall back into M-time or Me time where all the focus is on me and the research I'm conducting. I don’t want this attitude to detract from the more important things I could be learning and experiencing from such as social activities, private conversations, and such.

I truly desire to build relationships. I truly desire to experience Ghanaian culture. I truly desire to produce a valid research project. How am I going to practice participation and productivity at the same time? I think I might have biased opinions about Monochronic time like the author of the article did. Dave pointed this out in class, Polychronic time people ARE productive. I just don’t understand how right now because I am pure Monochronic timeian and that’s all I know. I feel liberated and less anxious now with recognizing at least one aspect of Ghanaian life that could provide culture shock for me. Now I just need to prepare and accept that thought I dream of Polychronic time, I may not be comfortable with it.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Research

I am excited to be doing research! In the past as I've done research for classes I've drudged through it seeking the quickest way to produce a final product. This experience I can tell will be much different. For one I get to pick any topic in the world that I'm interested in so I'm motivated by inherent curiosity, and two I choose the methods and objectives of the research. This feels like true academic freedom.

Another reason I'm excited about research and already feel so empowered by what we've learned thus far, which is very little, is that we are not coached in research in the dance department like other majors are. In comparison to other academic fields dance research, especially at BYU, is seldom done. As dancers we often like to spend our time moving and conditioning then researching and reading in the library. But for dance to live up to its new found place in the fine arts college I believe it must be doing as much research as the other art forms of music, theatre, and visual arts. Dancers really are smart students, we just don't exhibit our intellectual accomplishments in the same form as the rest of academia. I am excited to try this new approach to learning about the field I've chosen to study.

I am now faced with the question of how I might research dance, collect data and record observations that will be effective in explaining, describing and exploring my chosen topic in a valid way. In my dance classes our discussions have often been insightful but on the edge of touchy-feely. How am I to avoid those sorts of descriptions. What makes a good dance ethnographic study? How can I present my findings in a professional and intelligent way? These are things I hope to find out over the course of my research.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Focusing on Similarity

We discussed in class that as we focus on the way we are similar or like some one then we gain a greater ability to connect to those different from us. This discussion took me back to a conversation I had over a year ago with a roommate.

She commented on the diverse pool of friends I surrounded myself with. As we lived together as freshman and were neighbors as sophomores she observed respectfully, and remarked as a compliment, that I was friends with people that other people often overlooked or weren't friends with. I hadn't ever considered myself this way but she helped me see that it was typical of me to plan parties or organize activities that resulted in a melting pot of people from high school, the dance department, freshman academy, friends of friends, family and classmates and that I often would be the one point of contact for each person in the group. I hadn't ever realized this before and began to wonder why this pattern had occurred in my social life.

In high school I moved twice, first time to Dallas, Texas and second time back to Farmington, Utah. During those transitions I found myself without a social group with similar interests or network of friends with similar friends that I had had before my father conducted our moving experiments. This lack of a peer support group led me to reach out to anyone I thought I could connect with. To do this I had to focus and search for similarities in my new classmates and neighbors. Because I was focusing on my similarities with others and I did not belong to any specific social click I connected with a large variety of students in both high schools without the pressure of pleasing or joining a certain social click. This is how I have developed relationships with many wonderful and many different people. I found I didn't need a stable stereotypical social group to have a meaningful social life and I liked surrounding myself with a diverse group of friends with different theories and interests in life.

How could finding similarities be more difficult in a cross cultural setting? What have I done previously to connect with the friends I currently have?

I've brainstormed a few ideas:
  • Being engaged in conversation by asking questions and listening with genuine interest. I think listening in Ghana will be very hard for me because I have never had a good ear to hear English through a foreign accent.
  • Spend time working together. When you collaborate with someone communication is necessary and could provide a springboard for more conversation where you might discover more similarities.
  • Spend time, it may take awhile to learn about someone and find similarities between you that create a connection.
  • Step into their shoes, try something they do to understand them better and share in a common experience.
  • Share about yourself. Don't be afraid to share what you believe, like to do, or your opinion because the other party is hopefully trying to discover ways to connect with you too. However, always be sensitive to the way the information could be received.
  • Find out the way the other culture does connect with each other. In America and France people connect over food, in Ghana I believe people connect over celebrations where dance occurs, so hopefully dancing will provide a great medium for me to connect with people.
I am glad Dave simply stated the key to connecting with others was focusing on similarities and avoiding the deficit theory type thinking. Reflecting on my conversation with my roommate helped me validate and apply some of the life skills I've acquired up to this point in my life.
Though I have much to practice and much to learn about connecting with others it gave me confidence to know that I have some experience in connecting with others. We'll just see if I'm as effective at it in a cross-cultural setting.

Personal Goal for Self Evaluation: Health

It was so exciting to see Andrew's pictures and hear him talk about his field study to Ghana. To see pictures of the home and the woman we'll be residing with was so cool! Andrew also shared about the food we will be eating in Ghana. And though this is usually better to discuss at a later date its been on my mind and I believe it is something I need to prepare for.

Andrew shared about his experience getting Malaria in Ghana and advised us on the reasons why we should avoid leafy vegetables or fruits with thin skins because of the risk of Typhoid. So these are risks I'm willing to take, they don't frighten me, but I do believe they are something I should prepare for.

Ashley and Dave gave us an optional criteria on our self evaluation form where we can fill in for ourselves what we'd like to improve upon in the Spring Semester that will help us prepare for Ghana. I believe I will evaluate myself on my ability to prepare my body and keep my health in order so that I can fully enjoy my experience in Ghana.

A main concern I need to address is the diet. I have worked on changing my lifestyle to fit certain dietary restrictions for health related issues over the past two years and presently I eat mostly nuts, green vegetables and meat. I am advised to avoid citrus fruit, gluten, dairy, corn, soy and sugar. This is an issue for me even now but moving to Ghana for a semester may pose great problems.

Ghanaian's, Andrew reported, eat mostly starchy vegetables and fruit. For this I am lucky! The fact that their main staples do not consist of gluten is fantastic because that is my major allergy that I must avoid. But, I do not eat starchy vegetables very often and rely on fresh vegetables for good digestion, immunity, and energy. I don't want these dietary handicaps to impede too much upon an experience I've dreamed of having for a long time. I want to eat the way Ghanaians eat, but I want to feel healthy and energized to conduct my research and have meaningful experiences in the village community. So I plan to prepare over this term and next by introducing more starchy vegetables to my diet and working with a doctor or nutritionist to create a dietary plan that will keep my body running effectively while I'm in Ghana. The dietary plan will be created to ensure I get the nutrients my body needs and that my health concerns remain stable and manageable.

Andrew also mentioned walking everywhere in the village of Wiamose and that the kids often play soccer. I don't want these activities to poop me out either so I plan to get a good 30 minutes of physical activity or exercise 4-5 times a week this term to help me condition for that as well.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Culture

"Culture is no longer just what some group has; it’s what happens to you when you encounter differences, become aware of something in yourself, and work to figure out why the differences appeared. Culture is an awareness, a consciousness, one that reveals the hidden self and opens paths to other ways of being."

I like this quote from the article "Culture Blends" that we read for class. The idea that culture is awareness and that it "opens paths to other ways of being" is one I resonate with. I think it succinctly expresses my desire to study and live in Ghana. I hope that by developing the ability to ask questions while I'm researching and living in Ghana I will become more aware of the variety of ways one can live life.

I hope this knowledge endows me insight that perpetuates new options and courses I can take in my life. I hope it does "reveal [my] hidden self" because by choosing a major, choosing a career path, and choosing to follow through with opportunities recommended to me by professors and advisers I have become confused by what my true ambitions and desires are. I love dance and dance education of course but I hope that this cross cultural experience will expand the schema of what I see as an acceptable future for a dance education major. The typical career path may not be the perfect option for me but it is all at this moment that I see as acceptable. Studying another culture may help me open my mind to other future paths and help me discover a different way of being.